This is really just a way to vent what has happened.
I just lost my best friend, My one buddy who has always been there for me through thick and thin. The odds were against him his whole life but every single time he pulled through and kept being happy. Lately he's been acting differently, not eating, occasionally drinking. We took him down to get looked at. The lady came back with bad news, he has internal bleeding and the blood is pooling up outside of his lungs. He's in terrible pain. Around this time I burst out in tears for fear of losing my reason to live. I grew up with him, he would always want to do things with me. Even though he has bad bones he would always cuddle with me. We were given 2 opportunities, Euthanize him or pay ~6000 just to stabilize him then another ~3000 to find out whats wrong then even more to operate on him. We're not a rich family but the thought of letting my one and only true friend, my one and only passion in this world to go just breaks my heart. He's 15 years old, blind, deaf, has arthritis and a heart murmur. The chances of him surviving another operation is very very slim. I know deep down he's suffering a lot of pain and if he needs to get operated on he'll be in even more suffering. I just can't come to terms with letting him go. We decide that it'd be best for him to go out peacefully with us there, holding him. The lady comes in and we say our goodbyes. I lay my head next to his and cry, I remember when I used to come home from school after being bullied. I would cry, he would come and sit by me just as I am lying by him in his time of need. His head slowly moves down, down, down. He's gone, the lady tells me. I burst into tears, lose my breath. My best friend is gone. I immediately remember that he's died before, he's been brought back to life. He's been in multiple situations where he should have died but pulled through. If we had of paid for him to get operated on then he could have pulled through and I could be cuddling him right now instead of sitting here, crying while I write this. I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance buddy but I love you with my heart. R.I.P, I'll never love anyone as much as I loved and treasured you.
Yesterday, I made the hardest decision in my life and that was to let my reason to live pass on. I don't know how many of you have had to do this and your relationship with your pet but let me put mine into perspective. I grew up with him since I was 4, he has always been a part of my life. If a car was about to run him over I would jump in front of the car just to save his life.
In this world there are 3 categories I put people in. People I hate, People I hate less than others and People I love. There was only ever 1 person I loved, although he wasn't a person but that doesn't matter to me, and that was my Dog, Rusty. I don't think I could love anyone/anything more than what I loved him. Even now I can't help thinking about him being buried in the backyard.
Rest In Peace, Rusty. You were the one thing in my life that I admired and treasured more than anything <3