Friday, October 29, 2010

Why does thinking hurt?

A couple of days ago I was sitting here at my computer thinking of entertaining things to do. After about 5 minutes of doing absolutely nothing but thinking my brain began to hurt so I decided that I would entertain myself by playing some World of Warcraft (Now now, don't judge me because I play WoW. All the cool kids are doing it so why can't I?).

I logged into my character and signed up to do a random dungeon, which would be the most social interaction I need for one day. Now normally during dungeons with 4 random people everyone keeps quiet, does the requirements to complete the dungeon then leave.

During this particular dungeon one of the random players decides it's among his(or hers) duty to notify the rest of the players of their failure to be as good as said player. Being the kind person I am I say "Excuse me kind sir but you're disrupting the party, maybe you could keep it down a tad so we can complete this dungeon" (Ok that's not what I really said, what I really said was "Shut the fuck up and play the game"), he then directs a statement at me "No, you shutup you noob. You suck at WoW so obviously you're going to get nowhere in life and be a loser forever" (Of course I deciphered his statement into a more readable fashion instead of "Nou shut it nub u suck et wow u fag, ull gt nowere in lif u lser").

Now this statement made me think that maybe this random grammatically incorrect walking spelling mistake has a point. I'm somewhere between the ages of 16 and 23, not really a fit fellow so a lifelong career in sports is out of the question, not that I'm interested in wrestling half-naked with other males although I guess if the other half of the wrestling uniform was present and instead of wrestling we had a delightful chat about bee's at a nice coffee shop. Then maybe I would reconsider. I'm not really interested in working to be completely honest with you, I would much so prefer to just sit here and succumb to heart failure than work myself into a stressful state where I'll have a heart attack. I was considering becoming a professional gamer back when I was in school but while at school I was unable to live that dream. I'm not at school anymore so I might just consider it, or maybe I should become a gold farmer like the ones on World of Warcraft. They sell gold at around $10 per 1000 gold. I could then invest that $10 into stocks and through a series of events that will work in my favor I will become a millionaire. However I don't think I have enough willpower to sit here for 14 hours a day killing pixels for a mere $10 per 1000 gold I farm.

Maybe I should be like my girlfriend and get benefits from the government, pretend I can't find work anywhere and receive payments until I can find work. Little do they know I have no credentials except for being a level 80 shaman who has over 6000 gear score. (For those of you who don't know what gear score is: Gear score is a number at which your e-toughness/e-penor (How cool you are) is measured on the Internet. High gear score leads to popularity) I guess then I could sit here and do nothing all day.

Why can't I be like all the people who win lottery? They win amounts that measure in the millions however you never really hear about them ever again. Maybe there is some sort of secret lottery winning millionaire club that only they get invited to? If I were invited to such a club I would ask if they could serve those little hot dogs with a side dish of sauce, they're quite adorable and would lead to conversations about how much we won in the lottery and how many servants we now own from third world countries. I would make my servants dress as animals then chase them with a net and see how many I could catch. I just remembered my physical fitness isn't on a top level so maybe I would make them all hide then count to 10, after 10 I would threaten to fire all of them if they didn't come and jump into my net and whoever is last to jump in my net would get a 50% pay cut so the others know that next time they can't be the last or else their $3 will become a small amount of $1.50 with the remaining $1.50 from their pay I think I would hide it in small coins around my large garden and let them loose to see who can find it all.

Well anyway I said to that certain player "Yeah, well you're a complete jack-ass and I could beat you in a real life fight" luckily for me we had already finished the dungeon 17 minutes earlier and he was nowhere in sight to hear it however I feel that I got my point of superiority across to him.


  1. very inspiring and impressive text! great read and nice thoughts!

  2. Will continue reading this blog, keep up the good work!

  3. Lol, you showed that guy. Good job!

  4. I haven't a clue what you're talking about, but fuck, that was funny. You have quite an imagination there.

    "this random grammatically incorrect walking spelling mistake"...This tells me that you care about the proper use of language. Bravo!

    My apologies if it wasn't meant to be funny, but I too have a warped sense of humour, which you can check out by reading chaos theory.